Buenas Dias, Party Peeps! How’s lunch? Today I brought lunch! That I made last night! A cucumber and hummus sandwich on whole-wheat Sourdough. I feel so responsible and frugal 🙂 Anywho, on with the blog…I have wierd dreams. Like, strange ones that are SO completely real that I wake up in the morning arguing with myself over whether or not they really happened. (Did I REALLY go swimming last night? Does she REALLY have a black eye this morning?) So from time to time, I will share my dreams. Analyze and diagnose as you wish 🙂 Today, my friends, I present to you DreamBlog 1: The Obama’s & Deadly Water Sports.
I am a nanny for Obama Daughter #1 and Obama Daughter #2. Barack and Michelle are not in the house; more than likely getting sloshed with Biden before they move into the White House (or maybe they are on the Sarah & Vinnie show putting out rumors that he is painting it black. Did anyone hear that segment?!?!?) Anywho, the girls run into my Nanny room, and tell me that there is trouble coming. At that moment, metal doors automatically slam shut, covering all of the doors and windows in the entire house. I jump up, grab the girls and run downstairs to see what is going on.
Apparently, I made a horrible nanny decision because just when we get downstairs there are mean looking soldiers (who are scantily clad in beach shorts and flip flops, with machine guns) snatch us up and run out of the house. Wait, I think….Yep, we’re kidnapped.
Next thing I know, we are being helicoptere’d (yes, I just made up a verb) through the hills and we land at what looks to be a fun-filled summer camp at a lake. However, all of the water sports are quite dangerous. People are diving with weights on their ankles, Life vests have scorpions all over them. I knew this was not going to be a fun-filled day at the lake. Immediately after we land, I somehow manage to get a few free minutes in the forest and I pull out my cell phone to call my step-dad, who works in Law Enforcement.
“Hey, it’s Nikki”, I say to him. “I’m with the Obama girls. We’ve been kidnapped. Please send the SWAT team, I really need your help!”
“Oh, you’re with the Obamas?”, he says. “Sorry, Nik. I can’t help you. That’s not my jurisdiction. You need to call in Air Force One for that. If it was anyone else, I could help you. But not the President-Elect.”
I ran back to the girls feeling helpless. At that point, it was explained to me that we would need to complete a series of water sports in order to be set free. We jumped in the lake, and before I knew it I had a water ring around me. However, the water ring was made out of metal. With spikes. Ouch. It weighed probably twenty pounds or something. I had to flip this over myself, with no hands, three times to complete this mission. (How I knew that, I have no idea. There was a lot of mind telepathy going on.) So I painstakingly flipped the heavy ring over myself twice, and by the third time I was mentally and phyically exhausted, and bloodied up.
“C’mon, Nikki!” Shouted the ObamaGirls. “We need to get home and watch Dora!”
That did it for me. I was all of a sudden so determined to get them home. I would have them on back on their sofa in time for the Dora theme song if it was the last thing I did. It seemed like it took me five years, but I slowly flipped the spiked ring over my head (and got stabbed in the shoulder by a metal spike while I was at it.) As the ring fell down on the water, I got knocked in the head. Really hard.
I felt dizzy and realized that I was probably going to pass out soon. Just then, I heard helicopters ahead and saw a huge yellow hummer that said “Air Force One” coming out of the forest.
Then I woke up. Thank gawsh. Here is the wierd part: When I woke up, my shoulder was really sore. Wooowwww 🙂 (Did I REALLY win a deadly water sport last night and save the ObamaGirls???)
Party on Wayne,