The relationship with my Gall Bladder and I, that is. We recently found, though, that we simply could not function together any longer and decided to call it quits. It was definitely a mutual decision; He grumbled at me and I grumbled back. We both couldn’t stand eachother anymore, especially during the last few weeks. I couldn’t do anything without him getting upset at me; Everything I ate, Every time I excercised; He always had something to complain about. In return, he punished me with heart burn and tummy aches until I just couldn’t take it any longer. I sought out counseling through Kaiser Hospital and after a week of blood tests, urinalysis tests and a CT scan, it was finally confirmed; The Gall Bladder and I were getting a divorce. He had been stealing my bile and turning it into Gall Stones for quite some time now without my knowing, and he had no idea how much it was hurting me. Well I hope that bile meant a lot to him because it cost him the best girl he’ll ever have. After a long talk on Monday night, I explained to him that it just wasn’t going to work anymore and that he had to get out. He threatened me at first, saying I couldn’t live with out him but I didn’t fall for it. Sorry GB, but a girl like me can replace you in a minute with a few doses of Bilemin. You should have thought about that before you went behind my back GB. You took me for granted and you thought I would never do anything about it. Well, for all my ladies out there who have Gall Bladders that think they can run your life, I stood up to GB and did something about it. I cut him off (literally), stitched myself up and moved on with my life. I am in pain now and feel a little bit like a piece of me is missing, but I know that after this short heartbreak is over my life will be so much better without him. The pain I feel now is going to be short lived and I will come out knowing that I am an independent woman who doesn’t need a GB in her life to make her happy! Raise your glasses single women of the world! Gall Bladders?!?! We don’t need no stinking Gall Bladders!
Party’s Over GB,